We have scheduled the date for Sophie's brain surgery. It will be on Friday, October 22nd. It is overwhelming that this is happening so quickly, but we know it is best for her. We are so hopeful that it will be life-changing for Sophie and for our family. The ultimate goal is that she will be seizure-free, but it would even be good if she had to stay on seizure medication that controlled them completely. The outcome remains to be seen and since there are six tubers on her brain and they are only removing the largest one that the seizures seem to be coming from, there are no guarantees for the future. But, it's the best thing we can do for her right now. Kayla and Madelyn will be spending a long weekend with their cousins in PA and then Kayla will come home to go back to school while my mom stays at our house to get her on and off the bus and take care of her. Madelyn will continue to stay with Mike's parents until we come home with Sophie. I am working on seeing if Mike and I can stay at the Ronald McDonald House near Children's so we don't have to drive in and out of DC each day. There have been many offers of a place to stay for us, but I am going to try looking into this first as we want to be near Sophie, but have a place to get away from the hospital when we feel the need to.
Sophie is doing well, despite her seizures. She is almost 11 weeks old, weighs over 12 lbs and has started sleeping through the night most nights! That has been a blessing even though I have to give her medicine around 4:30am...she sleeps through it and I go back to sleep. I have been having a hard time with anxiety lately though and it's been hard on all of us. I think it's been building over the past weeks, but for some reason scheduling her surgery pushed it over the edge. I spent the weekend in pretty bad shape, but have also started on anxiety medication that should kick in in the next couple weeks. Mike and I have talked about some ways we can change our daily routine, especially in the evenings, and I think it will help things a lot. I've also asked our next door neighbor's daughter to start picking Kayla up at the bus stop which has alleviated some stress for me since sometimes Sophie is sleeping or Madelyn is grumpy after getting up from her nap. It's hard for me to ask for help, but I'm getting better at it. I have to remember that yes, I can do all these things I'm asking help with, but it will make this season of life easier if I let those who want to help do so. Thank you to everyone who is doing so much to make our lives easier.
Please keep us in your prayers in the days leading up to Sophie's surgery. Madelyn has been acting out more lately which I think is in part due to her sensing my anxiety. Kayla seems not as affected, I think because she is at school most of the day. It's hard knowing that my mood and feelings are affecting my children, but given the situation I have had to accept it and move on making the best choices we can for them.
In my devotional over the weekend I came upon this Scripture which made no sense to me at the time, actually frustrated me reading it that day. Today it makes so much sense as I've seen this anxiety bring me to my knees feeling weak, but forcing me to find strength in the things I can control in my life!
"...for when I am weak, then I am strong." -2 Corinthians 12:10
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